S-STEM/TRAIN Scholar Christopher Livingston's Blog

 This semester was not the same as the ones that came before it. Yes, we did get a preview of what was to come during the Spring, but that was the panic, this semester was the reality... and so is next semester.  I have many things to be grateful for, but sometimes I can't seem to see those things and it is easier to focus on the major stressors in life as the only things that are happening. I would say that with the loss of the majority of human contact it became easier to only focus on the stress. If we are our own worst critics, then the humans that we come into contact with, our friends, family, lovers, etc., must be the counterbalance to that oppressive inner voice that tries to pull us down. The anxiety this semester was real, I can't remember a time prior to this when I spent so much time worrying about everything, and there was so little within my power that I could change. To live is to struggle, but this year was a little too over-the-top. I spent a lot of time this y

I'm not so sure that I've dealt with mid-semester stress in the best way possible. I seem to have let myself become overwhelmed and now find myself trying to pick up and move on. Perhaps it is just a symptom of 2020 though, since I haven't had this issue before. It seems to me that one of the benefits of in-person instruction is that you have a set timeframe in each class to worry exclusively about that class and the work that is coming due. While at home I find that, even though I am scheduling time slots devoted to each class, I have not been able to keep my mind from wandering/worrying about everything else... so I definitely need to work on my self-discipline. I'm doing well in all of my classes but this week is going to test my ability to stay on task, wish me luck!